There was a man who conned me out of $600.00. He lied to me and told me he could fix the dent out of my car for $500.00.
I believed him and let him "fix" the dent. While working on my car he told me his baby son had cancer and they were struggling. In that moment, I felt led to give him an additional $100.00 to help him in his time of need.
By the time I realized it was a scam, he had taken the money and was out of sight. I had his cell phone number and he told me he would come back and do the job correct or give me my money back. He never came back and I had felt so violated, so betrayed, so angry.
Now I was $600.00 in the hole, plus I had to go spend another $1,500 at the dealership to get the car fixed and painted correctly!
Instead of joining with offense and frustration, I went to the Lord and shared all of my feelings with Him (hurt, frustration, violation, victim, offense, etc...).
You see, only if you have a relationship with the Lord, can you understand how in ONE encounter with Him (Love), He can change your whole perspective and infuse your heart with Love! I can't explain it with words but allow my next action to prove it!
With a new perspective on my situation, I decided to allow LOVE to manifest and not give authority to my feelings... So, I sent that "con-man" a text message and this is what it said:
"Jim, it's Holly! Jason told me that you have faltered on your promise to pay us back and do the right thing. I questioned my ability to hear from God through this process because I thought He told me to bless you with an extra $100, even though I didn't know your intentions were not good for us!
But then God confirmed that it WAS Him who told me to bless you with $100 and He was doing a work with you and it was my job to be obedient. All I know is God is up to something with you and even though He does not approve of your choices, HE is giving you fair chances to turn from your ways and He is choosing to do it through grace and mercy! Wow!
Through this experience, I choose not to be angry with you and to release you and pray that God forgives you for what you did to me!
Because I know that my Father is for me and I wouldn't want His wrath towards anyone on behalf of me. And even though you are doing the wrong thing, I choose not to participate in wrong behavior. So with that being said, I forgive you!"
You see what I didn't mention in the text was the Lord had reminded me that I was called to plant "seeds" of His love and mercy to anyone willing to receive... And I ALWAYS gladly accepted the mission. But what about planting a "seed" when it cost me something deeply (like pride, monetary loss, hurt?)
Was I still up for the mission in order to reach the people?