Jason: (Sheepishly) "Ummm, I'm about to leave...."
Me: (Angrily cuts him off)) "JASON! It's 6:30 and you said you were leaving the office thirty minutes ago! Dinner is almost ready and you have not even left yet?..."
Does this sound familiar to anyone, other than me?
To the wives, who put a lot of stock in spending quality time with their family in the evening, especially over a home-cooked meal...
And to the husbands, who have good intentions to try and make it home on time, but the thought of, "Oh, just one more email," often trumps freshly cooked lasagna.
Here is what I want to say to that...
Ladies, let it go!
Someone wise once told me, the definition of insanity; Is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results!
Let me ask you this... how's your controlling/frustrated reactions working for you?
Let me answer that from experience: ITS NOT!
I know, because that scenario, was me, for many years in our marriage! So much so, that I would allow that scene to dictate the rest of my night, which ultimately didn't pan out well for me, Jason, or the children!
It never produced the type of "change" I was trying to manufacture in my husband.
I'll even take it a step further than lasagna:
I clung to control, manipulation, and angry outbursts all throughout my marriage to try and reproduce what I thought I wanted. While at the cost of not loving my husband and sacrificially putting his needs above my own.
You see, I saw things differently.
I looked at things from an inward perspective. I was focused on MY needs, MY rights, MY desires, MY lasagna ...MY... MY....! Get the point?
Today, I wake up each morning to love my husband. Period!
When I wake up, I do not "need" my husband to treat me/love me a certain way. Otherwise, I am only doing as good as he is treating me, which means he gets to dictate how I "feel" and that will result in an emotional roller coaster. Instead I am filled with Love (not need).
If he is tardy to the dinner table, then I wrap his meal up with foil and greet him at the door with a smile.
LOVE covers a multitude, while a harsh word ALWAYS stirs up anger.
The integrity and strength of a virtuous wife, transforms her husband into an honored king. But the wife who disgraces her husband, weakens the strength of his identity.